They Gone Love Me For My Ambition
After blogging for a few years, I’ve noticed that a lot of my readers are very much like me. Ambitious, positive minded, and just seekers of all around better lifestyle habits. You ladies are typically budding entrepreneurs, hustling freelance artists, and love you some Jesus, or as I like to describe it— young, fly, and saved! I love that we generally have so much in common and I wouldn’t even have a blog if I didn’t have something helpful to give to you guys, my crew of like minded boss babes.
Today’s post is all about something I think we all probably struggle with from time to time, finding balance. Balancing working like everything depended on me, yet resting like everything depends on God, is the struggle of my life. And if you find difficulty doing the same, this blog is for you:-)
The Girlboss Culture
Sophia Amoruso penned a fabulous book, that spawned a term we see everywhere, the ‘Girlboss’. While I’ve never personally read the book, I have heard nothing but raves about it. From glossing over a few reviews, I can assume it’s filled with motivation, kick in the butt advice about bossing up and handling life, and some tidbits about Sophia’s own journey towards building her empire. All of that is amazing, and we should learn from others’ success stories as often as we can. However, I’m led to believe that what started as a young woman sharing her story in an effort to inspire, has become a teeny bit of monster, causing young women to feel anxious and a bit inferior.
An entire ‘culture’ has formed of women posting endless desk shots filled with the receipts of their daily grind to Instagram. Word pics flood our streams proclaiming the sovereignty of the ‘hustle’. And finally, we see beautiful images of young, gorgeous entrepreneur women on lavish vacations, all funded by the ‘no sleep’, be your own boss or die, mentality.
I honestly love hustling. I’ve pretty much always been one, but formally I’ve been working for myself for about seven years now. I’ve learned more than I could ever fill this page with, but one thing is for sure, it’s been FAR from glamorous! Now, I won’t lie, there have been glamorous moments, like being escorted into luxury hotels, planes, etc., with celebrity clients. But there have also been really scary moments, like not having my rent for months and facing eviction, or losing friends from my hustle mentality that somehow shut everyone out. It’s incredibly HARD working for yourself! I truly believe that without balance, this culture will have everyone thinking they need to quit their jobs, start a business, and work until you’re making six figures. It’s not that easy people.
And aside from it not being realistic, have we taken the time to seek God about it? What does He say about this obsessive striving we’re doing? Is this really what HE has for us, or are we trying to keep up with the lives of others? I’ve found MANY times that what I was striving for had no trace of something God had for me. I lacked direction, focus, and of course—balance. For the sake of somehow finding balance amongst our undying ambition, let’s look at some pros & cons of the girl boss culture.
Pros of the Girlboss Culture
Unlimited inspiration. You won’t have to scroll too far down before you see a motivational word pic or a beautiful woman hammering away at work in her Pinterest worthy home office. I mean how can you not get a surge of inspiration after seeing the fruit of people’s hard work!
It reinforces the idea that anything is possible. When we as women see another woman achieve what we have considered the impossible for ourselves, it gives an instant shot of hope. Hope is always the first step to ignite a fire in us! We need to see this hope tangibly through the curated lives of those we admire sometimes to get us to simply START.
Gives us a loose guide for our secret goals. I don’t know about you guys, but some of my goals are so crazy, I can’t even tell people, lol. So when I see a girlboss online living in that goal, making it happen, I’m not only inspired, I’m taking some notes, lol! Because often girl bosses uses their social media to document their journeys toward success, I can learn what to do AND what NOT to do, when I get ready to embark on a similar journey of my own!
Cons of the Girlboss Culture
Creates some serious FOMO! Fomo is ‘fear of missing out’. It’s super easy to look at these girl bosses jetting the globe, having Diddy style brunches every week, and driving lambos, and think, I’m missing out on LIFE right now, lol!
It makes everyone think they were meant to be an entrepreneur. While being an entrepreneur is amazing, it’s honestly NOT for everyone. Not only logically, but I’m sure God didn’t plan for everyone to work for themselves. If everyone works for themselves, who is going to do the day to day work for the business? Everyone has different callings, and some people’s calling is to be an excellent MEMBER of a team. And that’s okay!
Depending on the type of content, it can paint an unrealistic image of working for yourself. Again, this depends on the content the girlboss chooses to share, but we rarely see the financial struggles and relationship difficulties that come with all that hustling! We really only see the ‘highlights’ of the entrepreneur lifestyle, and that helps create the imbalance in our minds.
God & This Girlboss’ Issue with Striving
Psalm 127:2 New International Version (NIV)
In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.
I’ve learned that at the heart of my issues with overwhelming ambition, lies a spirit of striving. Striving is not a bad thing in and of itself. In fact, working hard towards our goals is biblical:
Colossians 3:23 New International Version (NIV)
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters...
But I have a tendency to strive more than I rest, thereby putting all of my trust in my own hands. I’m led to believe that every one of my goals depends on solely myself, and I have to work, work, work to make them come to life. When in reality, I AM responsible for my own life, but God wants us to partner with HIM on our goals. He wants us to seek Him FIRST before we make that goals list or vision board.
If God is truly the head of our lives, we can’t be out here making moves without knowing He’s involved! Our trust in whether or not our goals come true can’t lie solely in our hands, because our hands can only do so much! God’s hands can do the impossible, THIS is why we must partner with Him!
How to Balance Your Goals & God’s Instructed Rest
Isaiah 26:3 New International Version (NIV)
You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.
I hope this post isn’t leading you to believe that we shouldn’t have goals at all and should just wait on God to drop them from the sky, lol, that’s not my intention! But rather my goal is to help us see how we don’t need to strive to the point of misery. We get to miss out on that burnout that happens when you hustle until you’re drained because we’re aligning our goals with God’s plans. This happens through submission.
I believe God gave every single one of us unique gifts and abilities. Those gifts are inside of us dormant, until we see something that sparks, and makes them come alive. When we set out to learn all we can about this thing, we discover we want to do it all out, and go as hard as we can with it! So we strive and hustle, and trust God to place us where we need to be to see the dream fully realized. This is not only balance but an example of being in line with God’s plan. Because in this example, the hidden gift was ALREADY inside, and God allowed it to be awakened by life experiences. So the hustle was natural, it was God ordained, it was BALANCED! Here’s an example.
I never, ever, ever wanted to be a makeup artist. I studied Biology & Chemistry in school. However, I could always paint and draw really well. I’ve always been into color theory and creating something out of nothing. One day I met up with a friend who worked at a makeup counter. I saw her mixing and playing with color, and then the spark happened. I said to myself, hmmm, I can paint, this looks interesting, I think I can do that! And boom, the hustle began! I went full speed ahead at pursuing a makeup artistry career, and God blessed it with much success because it was:
expounding on a hidden gift I already had, that God allowed to be awakened
something I prayed for and over, trusting God to do His thing, WHILE I hustled
natural, organic, and I didn’t force it because I saw it on Instagram (Instagram wasn’t even here yet! lol)
So how do you achieve the balance between your girl boss tendencies and desires AND your desire to trust and be aligned with God? Glad you asked!
Pray over every goal.
This is that submission part I spoke of. Submit means to ‘get under the mission’, to yield to. So, going back to my example, I prayed to God to become a great makeup artist, yet I yielded to His plan if that wasn’t it. Although I was doing everything I could to make the goal a reality, like moving to New York City with no connections, lol, I was prepared to pivot, if He instructed me to pursue another career.
While I know it can be scary, the only way to have peace while we hustle is to submit our desires to God’s perfect plan for our lives. Pray over each goal you have, and ask God to show you if this is what HE has for you. Although He may never drop a note from the sky that says, “Aye, do this what your life”, lol, He’s always speaking. How does God speak?
Through our interactions with others in the body
our encounters with people within our industries of work
and the Holy Spirit giving wisdom while studying the Bible
After you pray for His guidance while you grind, EXPECT Him to speak, and start paying attention!
Confide in God with your honest motives.
This is how you’ll get to the root of those lofty goals! Do you want to own an online fitness business because you are crazy about fitness and health, or do you it because you so a girl get famous in 6 months with the same business? Do you want that coaching business because you genuinely want to see people live better lives, or because you liked the house, cars, & lifestyle of that coach on Instagram? These are real motives that are absolutely okay to confess to God!
Besides He already knows if those motives are in your heart anyway, so in confession He can help you step away from them. By telling God exactly why you want those girl boss jobs, He can further show you if they’re for you or not, by guiding your heart towards motives that are purer, more realistic, and that will lead you to your REAL mission here on Earth. Everything begins with a confession! Trust me, nothing we confess to God will take Him by surprise, lol! So get real with Him on why you want what you want, and let Him influence you to have better ones!
Set aside a rest time each day and/or week, then stick to it!
This is something I implemented this year, and man is it hard! I’ve dedicated one day each week to be my rest day. Yes, a whole 24 hours of non-grind. I don't think I’ve ever done that! Like ever, in about 10 years, lol. I’m the person who even on vacation manages to slip away and answer emails, lol. But early in the year God convicted me about working so much and trusting Him so little. I was taken to Genesis, and remembered how even God rested, the creator of EVERYTHING took a day off?! And who am I to not follow His lead, His perfect ‘workflow’, His instruction even for my life. Yes, we are instructed to take a rest day (Sabbath)!
Genesis 2:2-3 English Standard Version (ESV)
And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.
So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it God rested from all the work that he had done in creation
Some weeks are harder than others to stick to this day off plan, but I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve learned that when I don’t take a rest day, it’s proof that I think whatever success I’ll have, I have to get it myself and not depend on God. It’s proof that I don’t trust Him! Not resting is setting the stage for when I do get the success I’m after, I’ll think it was all ME, because my independency left no room for God’s deserved glory in the feat!
If you can’t stick to an entire rest day, at least have a rest time each day. A set time you turn OFF the computer or whatever you use for work. Use that time to study something, get back into a forgotten hobby, or to do absolutely nothing! Rest in God shows that we’re letting Him sit in the driver seat, and we’re totally okay being in the passenger.
Believe in God for the SUPER after your NATURAL work.
Lastly, we gotta believe! We have to know that we know, that we know, that we know, God is AMAZING! God is limitless!
God can do more for our careers in 2 hours than we could do in 2 weeks! This is just the truth ya’ll. So work, yes, hustle, of course! But after you’ve done all you could in the natural, believe that God will do the SUPERnatural in your life.
I believe that for many of my goals, God simply wants me to show up! And if you believe the same, commit to these tips for allowing God to lead your path towards being a girl boss, and trust that He knows the way.
God Graces Us All…Even the Independent Girlboss
Grace is a beautiful thing! And while I could talk for hours on the subject, I won’t, lol! I’ll just say that God has grace for the girl boss. Don’t think that He’s angry at your ambition or upset that you haven’t included Him in your plans. If you’re reading this, it’s not too late to do so:-) Besides, if you’re ambitious by nature, who do you think gave you that nature? Yes, God Himself.
Therefore He knows you want to do a good job, be successful, and make a difference in the world. But I believe more often than not, God is concerned with our hearts. He wants to give us those desires, but He wants us to self-evaluate why do we want them?
Is it a desire that’s rooted in jealousy? In greed? In pride? We’re often blind to the conditions of our hearts, but God isn’t. If you feel the slightest inclination that your goals are rooted in any of those things, be humble and ask God to show you the truth about yourself.
Being a girl boss is fantastic. There’s no feeling like doing what you love and somehow being paid to do it! It feels unreal and incredibly scary. God has ordained some of us to be legit girl bosses, so the culture itself isn’t bad. It’s how you internalize it, how you let it influence your desires, and how you let it shape your perception of reality. Everyone will not work for themselves, and that is more than okay, trust me!
So here’s to us being content with where God has us! Here’s to not letting the internet rush you, make a fool out of you, waste your precious time, or influence you towards a lifestyle that God never intended for you! You’re doing alright, far better than you realize, in fact. And whatever hasn’t happened yet, trust that God is moving in your favor. BELIEVE that He has already molded the path that is uniquely YOURS. And girl, it’s probably nothing like you’ve seen on Instagram! It’s like TEN TIMES BETTER! Don’t let your food get cold, looking at other people’s plate. I’m rooting for you all! And thanks so much reading, I pray it’s blessed you!
If you loved this post, please share it with 2 friends who:
-- luh God! lol
-- are in it to win it! and super ambitious
-- and who have an Instagram account!
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I appreciate you all so so much, and until next time, bye loves:-)